December 16, 2014

GIRLS SHOULD DATE LESS AND F*CK AROUND MORE, PART TWO

Three More Ways to Find Yourself by F*cking Around


By Courtney Pape, WICF Guest Blog Contributor

[Courtney Pape is an actor, writer and comedian who lives in Los Angeles and dreams of being bi-coastal. Follow her on twitter @courtpape to see if it happens and laugh in the meantime.]

Courtney Pape
In Part One of “Girls Should Date Less and F*ck Around More” I called out to women to make self-discovery the new standard prep before finding a boyfriend. Instead of going on crazy diets, going into credit card debt for the latest fashion trends and going on social media to cultivate a perfectly tailored persona that doesn’t even begin to encapsulate who we are as people in order to attract a guy, let’s focus on ourselves.

Once we enter a relationship, if we’re not prepared, it can be easy for women to nurture and care for their significant other while neglecting to nurture and care for herself. So Ladies: let’s strengthen ourselves as much as we can before we commit to someone so together we can build a life together, instead of cleaning up the wreckages of our pasts.

Three MORE Ways to Find Yourself by F*cking Around:

1. F*ck around with…FRIENDS

We don’t need to have a designated activity to spend time with our friends. Kick back with them and just do nothing. Have no plans. See what happens. What did we do with our friends when we were kids? We just played. We just showed up to our play date and figured out in the moment whether we would play “Pretty Pretty Princess” or Mermaids in the pool. So let’s take a note from our childhood selves and be more carefree. Let’s also continue playing “Pretty Pretty Princess”…who’s with me?

2. F*ck around with…EXERCISE

The older we get, the more we need exercise just to feel good. Or even normal. (And sex alone is not enough of an exercise regimen to stay healthy for all you jack rabbits out there!) As our lives get bigger, especially with a relationship and/or kids, we might not have the time or energy to get to that 7am spinning class. So f*ck around with different exercise classes, try different machines at the gym, look up good walking or hiking paths around you. Just switch it up! The more routine taking care of our bodies is before we have a relationship and/or a family, the more likely we won’t abandon the practice once we’ve committed to someone else.

3. F*ck around with…RELIGION & SPIRITUALITY

Are you religious or spiritual? Awesome! Take this time when you’re alone to deepen your connection to God, the Universe, Penelope Cruz’ hair, whatever you want to call it. This deeper connection will not only calm your crazy thoughts of, “I can’t believe Jessica is getting married!?! I’m so much prettier than her and I don’t even have a boyfriend. How does that make sense?” but it will also bring forth a guy on the same religious/spiritual path that you are on.

Are you NOT religious or spiritual? Awesome! Now is a great time to delve further into your beliefs or non-beliefs. Read and talk to people who share your thoughts, that way if a gorgeous JFK-looking guy wants you to convert for marriage you’ll know if religion is something you’re willing to compromise on or if it’s a deal breaker.

And I would encourage all of us, no matter what we do or don’t believe to keep an open mind and curiosity when it comes to all this stuff. Learn about different religions and spiritual practices, even if you think they’re bullshit. Because who knows? Maybe they do or say one thing you agree with or that helps you. Or maybe you’ll walk out thinking everyone in there is a lunatic, but any information and experience only strengthens who you are and what you believe in.

December 8, 2014

GIRLS SHOULD DATE LESS AND F*CK AROUND MORE, PART ONE

Obsess over yourself and guys will obsess over you

By Courtney Pape, WICF Guest Blog Contributor

[Courtney Pape is an actor, writer and comedian who lives in Los Angeles and dreams of being bi-coastal. Follow her on twitter @courtpape to see if it happens and laugh in the meantime.]

Courtney Pape
Luck is opportunity meets preparedness. When it comes to dating, the female sex has latched onto this concept and twisted the meaning of “preparedness” into extreme cleanses, fashionable clothes and having the best Facebook photos to make any guy swoon.

 Newsflash: Guys don’t give a shit.

When we were kids, little boys weren't trying to hold our hands because we had beach waved hair and a thinspo-enviable thigh gap. They did so because they just liked playing with us. So, what did we do to make them like us? We were just ourselves! Somewhere in adolescence our wires got crossed and we got the signal that our outside means more to guys than what's on the inside. Even through adulthood we've constructed our identity around physical appearances and being single or being in a relationship becomes a part of who we feel we are as a person.

Newsflash: You are not your body! 

Newsflash: You are not your relationship status! I don't care if you have the best husband who is your soulmate. (BTW Congrats, that's awesome & I'm totally jealous!) But you're a human being first and foremost!

Newsflash: You are your own person who is complicated as crap so why don't you learn to completely love, take care of and cultivate yourself in all facets before you do so for a romantic partner!?!

Instead of putting energy into our outward appearance and “finding” a boyfriend, like he’s lost at sea, let’s focus on ourselves. Let’s make self-discovery the new standard prep before "finding" our Nemo, which will probably come sooner now that we've washed away the stank of desperation. Now when we meet our match, he’ll be the one obsessing over us, not the other way around!

Three Ways to Find Yourself by F*cking Around:

1. F*ck around with…GUYS

You don’t have to date every guy you sleep with. Not every guy you’ve had a connection with has been sent your way as partner potential. “Then why is it the sex so good? What is the universe trying to tell me?” Enjoy it so you’ll you have fun, dirty memories to think of when you're making love to the same person for the rest of your life. Guys aren’t the only ones allowed to have highlight reels ladies!
{DISCLAIMER: Just because you CAN sleep with a guy, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. I’m not advocating sleeping around like crazy until your self-esteem crumbles and you contract herpes. Be discerning about with whom you share your body. Just because there are no long-term commitments being made doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be mutual respect, protection and a safe word.}

2. F*ck around with…YOURSELF

You know when you haven’t had sex in awhile and you reach that point where just watching a guy type fast on his computer turns you on? This is a great time to invest in a vibrator. And yes, I say “invest” because that’s what a vibrator is: an investment towards healthy sexuality.
 
3. F*ck around with…HOBBIES & INTERESTS

Have you always wanted to learn how to play guitar? Did you join Instagram thinking it’d help rekindle your love of photography but then just used it for selfies and stalking your ex? Do you look at Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta Give and are majorly jealous she can speak French fluently while ordering at a bougy bakery? Take time to f*ck around with hobbies and interests that just make you happy! Do something that is not an excuse to meet a guy and do it alone! We’re co-dependant enough with our girlfriends when we go to the bathroom together so let’s spread our independent wings and realize sometimes there’s power in solitude.

December 5, 2014

Free Redeemable Content: Only Cost is Your Soul!


Falling for satire articles? At least you got a laugh out of it! That's free. You're welcome.


By Brianna Wodabek, WICF Guest Blog Contributor

Brianna Wodabek
[Brianna is an actor/writer. She is a graduate of the Second City Conservatory and has preformed in many improv and sketch shows including twice in the newly debuted show in New York: Beerprov. Check out her blog; Brianna Rants.]

New age comedy is at an all time high and thankfully social media has rolled down its metaphorical window to its’ beater car and cat called it right into the front seat.

I personally can't get enough of The Onion articles or anything relatable to those sites. But not only do the articles themselves tickle my funny bone, most days I get more joy out of the readers who actually believe them. I don't know when the line erased that now everyone believes what he or she read on the Internet; but I'm so glad it's happened and if I could, I would lock up that line to never be seen again. The Internet had only been used for eBay scams, MySpace aspiring musicians and “boobs” typed into Google. Nothing was credible on the Internet; it was the technological equivalent of old wives tales of hairy palms and blindness. So what was the tipping point? What was the one piece of information posted that made us think, “you know what, they’ve got something here”. Was it when CNN took hold? Or NASA? Either way, no matter what happens, the moment they declare aliens, I am 100% on board.

Nothing brought more joy to my 21 years of life than seeing numerous of my Facebook friend’s plaster "23,000 iPhone 6's infected with Ebola" across their pages so graciously informing us of this insanity! Could I have intervened and relieved them of their incessant hand washing and paranoia while handling their new brain melting device? Yes, yes I could have. Did I? I definitely did not. Instead I grabbed my Facebook watching popcorn and enjoyed it unfold.

I’ve noticed that sketch and improv comedy is in its’ prime at the moment. Between comedy festivals that feature up and coming performers, YouTube channels and satirical blogs, everyone is an expert in comedy. I’m thankful that I managed to get my foot into Second City when I did, not only to witness the comedic evolution; but so I can add it to my LinkedIn profile. The images of female comedians are changing and I couldn’t be happier. Females were always viewed as brash, foul-mouthed stand up comics. If you wanted to succeed as a female in this world, you had to be shocking and rude; now with the different mediums, that is not longer the case. Smart humor is now introduced and truly respected. Females are now respected and no longer underestimated. It’s exciting to be a part of this transition and we didn’t even need to burn our bras this time! This is the age of laughter as I like to call it and I would love to contribute to this as much as possible!

The world has gotten too serious; war, disease, famine. We need some satire to ease the negativity and remind us that we don't have to take everything so seriously. We will spend enough time in our lives worried and stressed about things that we can't control; we might as well take the time to enjoy a 3 minute article about "The Day in the Life of our Local Aliens from Mars and What They Cook With". It costs us nothing to laugh, people need to redeem this perk more.

November 21, 2014

Taylor Swift pulls her music from nine-year-old-girl

The Shake It Off singer has said NO to low-royalty streaming services and now she is saying NO to a nine–year-old fan

By Lynda Coleman, WICF

On a school night last week, singer Taylor Swift barged into the bedroom of nine-year-old Ella Frank of Bristol, RI and pulled all her CD’s from the young girl’s bookshelf and then stormed out.  Now little Ella is calling desperately for the return of her Taylor Swift CD collection from the woman who recorded the music.

“Those CD’s were a gift from my Nana”, said Ella. “She bought them for me because she doesn’t know what streaming is – even though I showed her how it works like a million times and forget about explaining to her what an iTunes gift card is”. 

The trouble arose when Swift found out through social media that Ella had been sharing her CD’s with people ever since she pulled her music from streaming services.  Ella was freely sharing her Swift CD collection with her mom Valerie, a few school friends, their moms and school cafeteria worker Doris S. “Before Taylor took her CD’s back, I was thinking about sharing them with a few more people and charging a small fee”, said Ella. To that Swift had this to say, “WTF”!

November 18, 2014

Meet the top 10 funniest women in NYC



Meet the ten NYC stand-ups, scribes and performers you need to know right now!

The Top Ten Funniest Women in NYC

November 14, 2014

This Woman Asked 11 Alien Civilizations To Photoshop Her Face To Examine Intergalactic Beauty Standards

By Marcia Baker, WICF

Milky Way, Universe — Maggie Gordon is a 24-year-old journalist who lives in Wichita, Kansas. She sent a photo of herself to 11 different alien civilizations with the simple request to "make me beautiful".

The idea came from the widespread use of Photoshop to alter images to achieve often unrealistic beauty standards, but seeing beauty vary across the universe makes that standard even more illusive.



The results she got from this experiment provide further evidence that the standards of beauty are very much subjective and vary greatly from planet to planet.
Here are what professional photo retouchers from places like Yautja Prime, Brodo Asogi, and Romulus think beautiful looks like.

Arrakis

Pandora

Romulus
Unknown Planet

Solaris

Skaro

Mars

Anatrea
Alderan

Macedonia

Brodo Asogi

Yautja Prime














November 11, 2014

Actor Corey Feldman, 43, Found in His Apartment, Still Alive

Corey reassures fans by giving them the 'thumbs up' 
ACTOR COREY FELDMAN IS ALIVE AND WELL!


By Marcia Baker, WICF


Los Angeles, CA — Fans and neighbors were shocked to learn that on Monday, November 10th, 2014, actor Corey Feldman was still alive and in good health.

"I couldn't believe it it when I heard", said Heather Cannavaro, 39, of Silverlake. "I think back to the little kid from Stand By Me and the Goonies and it just takes me back to my youth. It reminds me of what a promising performance River Phoenix gave and what an amazing comeback Josh Brolin has made with his career in the last few years. I can't believe that innocent little kid I vaguely remember is now still out there, just living his life."

Firefighters broke down Feldman's door after repeatedly knocking and calling out to him. "All we could hear what the sound of the shower running and an unidentified individual yelling back "Just a minute, let me put on a robe" and "I'll be right there."

When authorities finally entered Feldman's apartment, he was found not nude, standing in the living room, like "what the fuck is going on here? What are you doing?"

"I could not believe my eyes", said firefighter Donald Reynolds, who was at the scene. "Usually, when we enter an actor's home, they're face-down and nude on the bed, or nude and hanging in the closet, or nude on the bathroom floor by the toilet.  To see him just standing there and alive like that..." he continued, shaking his head, "is something I'll never forget."

Firefighter Adam Stauer reported that upon entering the apartment, they immediately questioned Feldman. We asked him "Are you the housekeeper? Where is Feldman's body? When did you last see him alive?" He responded "I am Corey Feldman. What the fuck is going on?"

A third emergency worker is currently on suspension for leaking photos from the scene of the actor looking confused and annoyed.

Los Angeles Medical Examiner Joanna Sullivan made the following statement: "Between his close friendship with Corey Haim, his bananas audio commentary on the Goonies DVD, and all the weird Michael Jackson stuff, I was sure he was deceased. I was halfway through filling out his death certificate when they called and were like 'Actually, he's fine'."

Repeated calls to Feldman's agent were not returned, but Feldman had this to say: "I'm totally fine. But I think the fire department should replace my door."

Feldman is reportedly working steadily in film and television and last appeared in the 2013 film Zero Dark Dirty, alongside Mark Metcalf and Daniel Baldwin, who as of press time, are also still alive.